The posts about house sharing generated considerable interest and several people have commented privately about Bungalow with a shared kitchen – a true story. They were puzzled over how the arrangement could actually work. House sharing has the potential to be a wonderful and enriching experience of support and true caring. It also has the potential for misunderstanding, hostility and possibly even danger. Taking logical, sensible steps to ensure that your experience is a good one can include:

• Utilize an experienced, impartial third party to evaluate potential house mates and to sort through issues in advance, and even during, the shared experience. Two Chicago area agencies help people navigate home sharing: the Center of Concern and the Interfaith Housing Center of the Northern Suburbs. The National Shared Housing Resource Center lists agencies in forty-four states.
• Plan for a wonderful ending. The State of Grace Document presents an approach for entering into any relationship with a commitment to honor and respect the other. Even if the relationship ends, the commitment to courtesy and respect sets a secure foundation that raises the probability of harmony and success.
• Commit to clear and straight forward communication and behavior. Many techniques to see the underlying dynamics of a situation more clearly are available. One is listening circles led by skilled facilitators based on Parker Palmer’s book, Hidden Wholeness. The book explains the process and true stories illustrate the transformational potential. Personal growth workshops such as the Wright Institute of Learning or Landmark Education cut through years and layers of misunderstanding. Byron Katie’s The Work is a technique to drill down to the bedrock of what is troubling about an issue. Utilizing any or or all of these techniques help to chip away at layers of resentment and misunderstanding and free you to be unencumbered by emotional baggage that continues to muck up your life and relationships. Seeing how projection colors the perception of another person or situation releases you from the tricks and convolutions of your mind.

Community oriented living offers great potential. A large part of the success lies within each person and the maturity and integrity they have achieved.

For more info: New Community Vision is working to inform and educate the public about housing alternatives that are affordable, sustainable and engender a community experience that includes healthy inter-dependence and support. Housing models that meet these criteria include cooperatives, cohousing and shared housing. Please subscribe to this blog and contact us for more information.

Photo credit: Body Therapy Institute

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