The president of a worthy non-profit organization who works hard to improve lives in a third world country feels overwhelmed by her travel schedule and the 200 e-mails that she receives daily. When we met, I inquired about her family–two children, a 13-year old girl and a 15-year old boy.  Her husband travels too and occasionally their trips overlap.  She is an accomplished, committed person and I presume that her children and husband are enormously proud of her and her work. I asked if she lived in a community that backs her up. Even the question confused her a bit-a community backing her up? She said that she went to graduate school in the area, and knows a lot of people, but wouldn’t call it a community.

The tragedy of this situation is that there are people who need each other but there is no broad-scale way for them to find each other. The need to feel needed is fundamental to our well being. The young professional husband and wife could do their jobs more easily if an available adult, whom everyone liked and trusted, was around when they traveled.

Everyone, from rich to poor, needs to feel connected.  A friend living in a very posh Chicago suburb reports that she was the only at-home parent in her entire cul-de-sac. Ferris Buehler’s Day Off poignantly illustrates the isolation and loneliness that privileged children experience. I have to believe that there are trustworthy, interesting adults who would welcome the opportunity to participate in a child’s life.

Children, teenagers especially, aren’t going to cotton to just anyone. Gathering community-by-community, month-after-month is the way to grease the social gears. As people get to know each other, they will establish areas of common interest, see each other in safe settings over time, and gradually learn whom to trust. Alliances will naturally form. Discovering who has what you need to get, and who needs what you have to give, can lead to richer, more satisfying lives.

New Community Vision’s goal is to facilitate gatherings community-by-community, month-after-month, throughout the country, to brainstorm for solutions to our universal problems of child care, elder care, housing, transportation, jobs and social isolation.

If you long to live in a friendly, supportive, cooperative community, please contact Terry Edlin to get your neighborhood cooking with regular gatherings.