When Janet’s marriage ended in divorce, her Nebraska house sold quickly, requiring that she relocate with two very young children within two weeks. She wisely turned to her friend, Kay, whose marriage had also recently ended. Janet and the children moved in with Kay and her four children and they both considered their options.

Tax considerations required that each of them purchase a replacement property within 18 months. Kay’s attorney suggested that she pair with another person in similar circumstances. Arlington Heights prohibited non-family members from living together in the same house, so they looked elsewhere and purchased a large former boarding house in Evanston. The gang presence made for an iffy neighborhood. The neighborhood has gentrified and the house has been beautifully rehabbed. Theirs was the first mortgage granted in Illinois to two non-related women.

Neither of them had jobs, Kay hadn’t worked outside her home in 15 years and both wanted to stay at home with the children. Janet’s background in market research led her to work with Quaker Oats’ marketing department but a wholesale restructuring in the 1990’s eliminated all of their contacts. One simple letter to the management saying that they could offer a seamless transition led to a meeting. Their new computer crashed at 6:00 the morning of the meeting, rendering them helpless. A quirk of fate intervened with a 9 a.m. call from Quaker requesting to reschedule the meeting for the following week. The transition must have been seamless. Quaker Oats remains a client, as does Gatorade, McDonald’s and many others.

Processing the fallout from a divorce with others going through the same thing was probably a god send for everyone. The children recognized that they were a family, referring to each other as “brother” and “sister”, long before their mothers did. Janet and her children spent the first Christmas with her parents, but by the second Christmas, they wanted to stay at home with their family.

In the early days, they rented the third floor to Northwestern students who provided a welcome male presence for the three boys ranging in age from 3 to 11 years. Michael, 3-years old, followed 11-year old Ted around saying “I love you, Ted.” Not every 11-year old boy would welcome the adoration of a 3-year old, but it suited Ted just fine.

Money was often tight, and the roof leaked, but the mortgage was always paid. Rituals and traditions bound the family together. Each holiday has its own special menu, served only on that day. Waiting an entire year to savor it again adds to the anticipation and enjoyment.

Although their business is obviously successful, the real victory is that each child went to college, well prepared to launch into life. It is testament to the cohesive family that each one settled in the Chicago area after college. The odds are not generally stacked in the favor of children living with single parents, a demographic with one of the highest rates of poverty. Most divorced women end up working in typical jobs, with confining hours, often long commutes, but steady, tiny paychecks.

Combining resources made it possible for these two women to take advantage of the opportunities that came to them. Their solid foundation enabled them to provide the stable environment in which children flourish. Both women gave permission to tell their story.

As people follow the normal trajectory of life, alternative living situations may be more appropriate at various life stages. The economic collapse and housing crisis presents a compelling case to look at alternatives that may have been unthinkable back in the olden days, before 2008. Although the housing crisis has been with us for over a decade, we must look at it now, with fresh eyes and ideas. House Sharing – a possible road map is just one idea.

For more info: New Community Vision is eager to work with individuals and groups, such as Sound ConneXions, to spawn a movement to think about our social and housing paradigms in a new context. Community gatherings to address our universal challenges are the fertile soil in which durable solutions take root. Please subscribe to this blog and contact us for more information.

Tags: affordable housing, Housing