Nobody has ever before asked the nuclear family to live all by itself in a box the way we do. With no relatives, no support, we’ve put it in an impossible situation.

- Margaret Mead

The appeal of a group of friends that casually drop in for a bit of camaraderie, as portrayed in the sitcoms, is out of sync with the reality of our lives. We loved Cheers, Fraser, Sienfeld, Mad About You, etc. because it looked so fun that we theoretically want casual, drop in friends. In real life, however, most people neither want to intrude on others, nor to be intruded upon. For many, life has become busy and overwhelming, resulting in more isolation and a non-existent capacity for casual drop-ins. For these reasons, and more, living with others is a much needed social lubricant.

Housing in this country was in crisis long before the sub-prime mortgage market meltdown. In Something’s Gotta Give, Working Families and the Cost of Housing, an April 2005 report published by the Center for Housing Policy, the non-profit research affiliate of the National Housing Conference states that 13 million Americans pay more than 50% of their income for housing. Working families who pay over 50 percent of their income on housing also pay 7.5 percent on transportation¹. The housing situation has further deteriorated, with the collapse of the sub-prime mortgage market and the wreckage left in its wake. As the reality of this collapse plays out, millions of people may lose their homes. Re-thinking our fundamental approach to housing and developing broad-scale solutions is urgently needed.

Cooperative Solutions

The National Association of Housing Cooperatives (NAHC) (www.nahc.coop) has promoted cooperatives as an economic and durable housing model since 1950. Cooperatives have maintained their value as other residential real estate inflated into the stratosphere and then tragically collapsed. Durable cooperatives have anchored families, and entire communities, for generations. Atchison Village, a cooperative in Richmond, California, developed in the 1940′s has 450 housing units priced in 2007 from $60,000 for a one-bedroom to $130,000 for a three-bedroom. This development is so successful that units often don’t go on the market because they are are passed from one generation to the next.

Traditional Co-ops

In a housing cooperative, a corporation secures the mortgage and is responsible for all obligations of ownership. Residents purchase a share of the corporation, which conveys the right to live in their unit, along with all rights and obligations of membership. Other than this difference, co-ops function the same as condos. Some condo and co-op buildings achieve a community spirit while others seem sterile. If you long to live in an environment with a sense of community, finding a friendly, supportive one may be a worthwhile hunt.

Cohousing

Cohousing is a form of intentional community that originated in Denmark about 30 years ago and was brought to the United States in the 1980s. Member households own their own home (house, townhouse, condo) and share extensive common areas and activities, such as meals several times a week, childcare, etc. You can find out more at www.cohousing.org. This model is gaining traction, with over 100 cohousing developments in various stages of formation.

Chicago Cohousing

Prairie Onion Cohousing (POC) formed in Chicago in 2004 to develop an intergenerational, environmentally conscious urban cohousing community. POC is working with a green developer and anticipates having a cohousing site in 2008 or 2009. Please visit prairieonioncohousing.org and plan to attend an informational, social gathering.

Intentional Households

Inter-generational non-familial households are beginning to sprout. New Community Vision is promoting intentional house sharing to emulate high functioning families, providing household participants with an economic, social and emotional base that nurtures and empowers-the housing equivalent of a hot breakfast and a kiss on the forehead to start your day. Living with others in an intentional household offers the potential to affordably live in a gracious, supportive environment.

For this to work well several elements must be in place:

1. the household members must be compatible and have the right chemistry
2. the commitment to make it work
3. enough space for privacy and a degree of autonomy
4. each adult must be on an equal footing with no landlord/tenant mindset

Many of us are familiar with dysfunctional, unpleasant household environments. Rather than swearing off group living, use that knowledge to steer you to people you enjoy and an environment in which you will flourish. The field of organization development teaches corporate employees to relate to each other at a high level. If it works for corporations, surely it can work for households as well.

Disclaimer: Know yourself. If controlling your environment is important to you, cooperative living may not be your ideal lifestyle. For others, it’s a joyful alternative.

1 http://www.nhc.org/housing/pubs-descriptions, Something’s Gotta Give, Working Families and the Cost of Housing, April 2005