Photo: Stock Exchange/Argument

The idea of sharing a home strikes fear in many hearts. Privacy concerns, and the painful residue of having lived with others, eliminates it as an option for many people. There are hundreds of reasons for this, but it boils down to one: fear.

As the economic collapse grinds on, people will move in with roommates and family members they would not have chosen in fatter years. For some, it will be a great experience. Hellish for others. Rather than having living in hell, or eliminating a potentially rich and rewarding experience, an alternative is to figure out how to do it right.

Instead of retreating physically or emotionally, staying engaged and growing from the experience will serve you much better in life and for life. If you pluck out the people and situations that annoy you, your orbit becomes more limited and your life becomes smaller. It is axiomatic that, if your life is shrinking, you are headed toward a dead end and, sooner or later, you end up talking to yourself.

Learning to effectively communicate is the bedrock of successful living, whether alone or with others. Among the many tools, The Better Communication Technique, is one method to clarify communication and reduce misunderstanding. Other tools include listening circles in which you speak without interruption or judgment. In such an environment, you are able to hear yourself in a way that you couldn’t before. It changes your perspective.

We are in the midst of a economic crisis that affects our entire society, with the brunt of the burden borne by the poor and working class. The political divisiveness that is the new normal has rendered our local, state and federal government’s responses impotent. Even if your job and home are intact, watching anyone go down the chute of  unemployment, bankruptcy and homelessness takes a toll on each of us, whether we realize it or not.

This unprecedented jolt to our way of life requires a new strategy, which may contain the possibility of a more satisfying and sustainable way of living, as described in 11 Reasons Why House Sharing Works. Although living with others is challenging, the rewards can be enormous. An intangible reward is the opportunity to grow by interacting with others every day. It also keeps your neurons firing and your social skills well lubricated.

New Community Vision is committed to community building. In collaboration with organizations such as Transition Rogers Park, Sound ConneXions and Mindful Metropolis, and the Tutor/Mentor Connection we are all working diligently to support the shift to connected, sustainable lifestyles with inherent connection, support and neighborliness. Join with us in this worthy and exciting undertaking.

Photo: Stock Exchange/Salted House

I’ve looked and looked. Maybe it’s out there and I just haven’t seen it. Where is the short term housing that we desperately need? The  safe, affordable, possibly short term, housing that gives people a breather. The number of people standing at the precipice of homelessness, and falling into it, numbs my mind!

A lot of innocent people are going to get hurt.

If this unprecedented collapse takes with it the shame and humiliation that is inherent in our views about money and success, then we can grow from the experience and reach a new plateau of wisdom.

A business man in an industry that has been turned on its head repaid his investors their guaranteed 20% return, though he is looking at financial ruin and considers himself a failure. So far, he does not feel successful because he measures success on the bottom line. As the smoke clears and the paradigm shift settles in, hind sight will surely show that integrity trumps money as a measure of worth. He’s got the integrity thing in spades. Nevertheless, people have to eat, wear shoes and live indoors.

Instead of yet another policy paper describing our housing crisis, let’s put together local coalitions of real estate mavens, city council representatives, housing cooperators and building trades people to locate buildings that can be quickly modified to function as short term housing to get people off the street, sleeping indoors, eating decent food and having a place to put at least some of their belongings. Then let’s help people process this devastating experience so that it doesn’t become an albatross leaching every shred of self esteem from their identity.

Tornadoes follow a twisting path, devastate most of a community, flatten houses to match sticks, while leaving a few buildings intact, sometimes right next door. This is sort of like that. The rug is being pulled from under people who played by the rules. The bankers that we tax payers bailed out lavished bonuses like it was 2007! Fairness – the illusion talks about unfairness that is inherent in life.

Although the sense of failure is humiliating, the pay dirt is in learning the lesson, healing, and growing from the experience. Shame not only doesn’t get us anywhere, given that the game is rigged, it is misplaced.  A lot of innocent people are going to get hurt.

A new approach

The severity of the problem and the paucity of ideas gives my imagination free rein. I envision “housing fairs” with innovative housing solutions on offer. This could include as many different varieties of housing as we can dream up: households with room mates, households functioning as families, dormitory-type housing, cooperative apartments and any other concept that works. A dormitory arrangement might appeal to people who want a comfortable place to stay and would welcome, and pay for, meal service and maintenance.

Orphanages, which met the needs of an earlier era, are obsolete due to the wide acceptance of birth control. At this moment in history, our only housing models are designed for nuclear families, which comprise only 25% of our population. The other alternative is mostly single-person housing. This doesn’t come close to meeting the needs of huge numbers of our population. The very fundamentals of our culture have shifted radically and we need housing models that reflect our changed landscape. We cannot solve this problem without new models and we need them immediately. See 11 Reasons Why House Sharing Works.

For more info: New Community Vision is eager to work with individuals and groups, such as Sound ConneXions, to spawn a movement to think about our social and housing paradigms in a new context. Community gatherings to address our universal challenges are the fertile soil in which durable solutions take root. Stop by often to learn about the creative approaches to taking a whack at these issues that undermine our families and our culture. Please subscribe to this blog and contact us for more information.

Photo: Stock Exchange/2-story Southern charm

Does the economic collapse have within it the seeds of social change that will set us on a path to a more stable society? Just as the seeds of certain pine trees are released only by the heat of a forest fire, this collapse is forcing many to consider alternatives they would not have considered in a more comfortable, secure time.

Housing, for example. How and where we live, and with whom, are all ripe for evaluation. The following list is intended to broaden your perspective by considering  eleven benefits of house sharing:

1. Better food: An essential element for life, food can be both a joy and a nuisance. Food runs the gamut from delicious and nourishing, to dull and uninteresting, to harmful and even toxic. How and what you eat has a direct impact on your health and your wallet. Living with people who enjoy food and  plan menus, shop for ingredients and prepare interesting, healthful meals dramatically increases your odds of eating well and enjoying better health.
2. Better stuff: Admit it. Wouldn’t it be great to be less attached to your stuff? Of all your possessions, probably only a few dozen are genuinely important to you.  Living with others is an opportunity to choose the best of the best. Put the rest in storage, have a garage sale and donate the remainder to charity. Sorting and deciding is the hardest part.
3. Live better for less money. Living in a household committed to thrifty, ecological living can keep money in your pocket. Imaginative and creative menu planning, taking your lunch and snacks is healthier for body and bank account. Clear-eyed budgeting and management, combined with a handy knack for fixing things can make a big difference. Even doing laundry at home puts money in your pocket.
4. Division of labor. If your idea of cooking is picking up a slice of pizza on the way home, perhaps your skills and interests run to cleaning, household repairs, household finances, gardening or car maintenance. In a well managed household, it all needs done. Children, who seem naturally conversant with electronics, can make valuable contributions too. Dividing the labor among more people increases the likelihood that you can do more of what you enjoy and fewer tasks that you detest.
5. The joy of generations. Living in an inter-generational household can be a grounding, rounding experience. Single people who have not changed enough diapers are missing an important part of life. Both children and adults benefit from elders’ wisdom. People living alone become accustomed to their routine, less adaptable and their social skills get rusty. The difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
   
6. Livelier social life. The people who are inclined to this lifestyle are probably interesting and engaged with the world and this makes for a lively atmosphere.
7. Live better. Living in gracious surroundings, with a compatible group of people who choose each other wisely, show up on behalf of the household, work out their differences in a healthy, mature way can be delightful. This arrangement brings amenities such porches, gardens, yards, and vintage homes within affordable reach.
8. Have your friends come to your house. Opening your home to others is one of the joys of having one. Being a guest in home has a different quality than gatherings at restaurants or hotels. In a large home, you could host holiday festivities. Providing that household members agree, being the home base for family reunions is conceivable. Household members may choose to take a trip themselves, giving you and your guests more accommodations and privacy.
9. Healthier lifestyle. Although many are shy and private, healthy humans are naturally social beings. The independent lifestyle that we take so much pride in, for many is isolating to an unhealthy degree. Many seniors contemplate assisted living arrangements when they mostly need to be around people. Even a grade schooler or a teenager could qualify. Many children go to an empty home until their parents arrive from work. A healthier environment for everyone would be one with people that they are attached to and rely on. Nurturing those bonds takes time, attention and care.
10. Help when you need it. How comforted would you feel knowing that a responsible adult was there if your child had to stay home from school? For serious illness, caregivers for chronically ill people burn out quickly, in part because too few people share the load. If round the clock nursing is required, converting a spare bedroom may be a better choice than a nursing home. The Census Bureau reports that there were 2.4 million registered nurses in 2005. A considerable number have let their licenses expire, although they still have the knowledge and skills. Keeping people who need care at home and having a nurse stop by makes sense.
11. Experience a deeper connection to others. If households form wisely, and consciously work through their issues, connecting with others is a natural consequence. The experience of living with others can bring great joy. The other side of that coin is that it can bring great sorrow as well. You can’t be open to one and not the other.

Connecting with others, for many, is the elephant in the room that we don’t talk about. It is perfectly conceivable to have no meaningful contact with others in the course of a day, week, month or year. This reality spawns misfits and violence that are all too familiar. Although we tsk tsk that things have gone to hell, the dysfunction that is embedded within our culture is not going away until we replace it with healthier customs.

Change is banging on our door and calling us to a new lifestyle. It is within the capability of some to make this leap. New Community Vision will be working with community groups to host gatherings to discuss the potential of alternative housing. Please visit Alternative Housing Models to see the varieties of housing that are possible in our new world that is on its way to becoming brave.

For more info: New Community Vision is eager to work with individuals and groups, such as Sound ConneXions, to spawn a movement to think about our social and housing paradigms in a new context. Community gatherings to address our universal challenges are the fertile soil in which durable solutions take root. Stop by often to learn about the creative approaches to taking a whack at these issues that undermine our families and our culture. Please subscribe to this blog and contact us for more information.

Photo: Stock Exchange/Screw it!

Learn how to lower your costs for utilities, mortgage payments, transportation, and food.

Co-presented with CUB, I-Go Car Sharing & Growing Home

·      Citizens Utility Board

·      I-Go Car Sharing

·      Growing Home

DATE:       Wednesday, July 28

TIME:        5:45PM to 7:45PM

LOCATION:  Illinois Action for Children | 1340 S. Damen | Chicago, IL 60608 | Free parking next to building

REGISTER:  Call Jennifer @ 773-769-5800, ext 224

Presented by

North Side Community Federal Credit Union, HUD-Certified Housing Counseling department

Photo: Stock Exchange/Dream

Tax considerations required that each of them purchase a replacement property within 18 months. Kay’s attorney suggested that she pair with another person in similar circumstances. Arlington Heights prohibited non-family members from living together in the same house, so they looked elsewhere and purchased a large former boarding house in Evanston. The gang presence made for an iffy neighborhood. The neighborhood has gentrified and the house has been beautifully rehabbed. Theirs was the first mortgage granted in Illinois to two non-related women.

Neither of them had jobs, Kay hadn’t worked outside her home in 15 years and both wanted to stay at home with the children. Janet’s background in market research led her to work with Quaker Oats’ marketing department but a wholesale restructuring in the 1990’s eliminated all of their contacts. One simple letter to the management saying that they could offer a seamless transition led to a meeting. Their new computer crashed at 6:00 the morning of the meeting, rendering them helpless. A quirk of fate intervened with a 9 a.m. call from Quaker requesting to reschedule the meeting for the following week. The transition must have been seamless. Quaker Oats remains a client, as does Gatorade, McDonald’s and many others.

Processing the fallout from a divorce with others going through the same thing was probably a god send for everyone. The children recognized that they were a family, referring to each other as “brother” and “sister”, long before their mothers did. Janet and her children spent the first Christmas with her parents, but by the second Christmas, they wanted to stay at home with their family.

In the early days, they rented the third floor to Northwestern students who provided a welcome male presence for the three boys ranging in age from 3 to 11 years. Michael, 3-years old, followed 11-year old Ted around saying “I love you, Ted.” Not every 11-year old boy would welcome the adoration of a 3-year old, but it suited Ted just fine.

Money was often tight, and the roof leaked, but the mortgage was always paid. Rituals and traditions bound the family together. Each holiday has its own special menu, served only on that day. Waiting an entire year to savor it again adds to the anticipation and enjoyment.

Although their business is obviously successful, the real victory is that each child went to college, well prepared to launch into life. It is testament to the cohesive family that each one settled in the Chicago area after college. The odds are not generally stacked in the favor of children living with single parents, a demographic with one of the highest rates of poverty. Most divorced women end up working in typical jobs, with confining hours, often long commutes, but steady, tiny paychecks.

Combining resources made it possible for these two women to take advantage of the opportunities that came to them. Their solid foundation enabled them to provide the stable environment in which children flourish. Both women gave permission to tell their story.

As people follow the normal trajectory of life, alternative living situations may be more appropriate at various life stages. The economic collapse and housing crisis presents a compelling case to look at alternatives that may have been unthinkable back in the olden days, before 2008. Although the housing crisis has been with us for over a decade, we must look at it now, with fresh eyes and ideas. House Sharing – a possible road map is just one idea.

For more info: New Community Vision is eager to work with individuals and groups, such as Sound ConneXions, to spawn a movement to think about our social and housing paradigms in a new context. Community gatherings to address our universal challenges are the fertile soil in which durable solutions take root. Please subscribe to this blog and contact us for more information.

The North American Students of Cooperation (NASCO) Mission Statement: The North American Students of Cooperation (NASCO) Family [of associations] organizes and educates affordable group equity co-ops and their members for the purpose of promoting a community oriented cooperative movement.

Mandate: Since 1968, NASCO and its affiliates have been working with students, worker-owners, activists, and community members who are interested in applying cooperative principles to meet their needs and fulfill their various missions. NASCO provides education and technical assistance to its members and co-op organizing groups, assists its members in communicating with each other, acts to educate the public in cooperative principles and practices, and promotes the co-op movement as a whole.

The National Shared Housing Resource Center (NSHRC) is a non-profit organization fueled by the efforts of volunteers and serves as clearinghouse of information for people looking to find a shared housing organization in their community or to help get a program started. It provides the following services…

• Serves as a national clearinghouse for consumer inquiries to shared housing programs.
• Provides technical assistance for program start-up, problem solving, and marketing strategies through literature, site visits and a national conference.
• Informs other allied organizations about shared housing.
• Maintains a national directory of shared housing programs.
• Produces a shared housing newsletter, plus other publications and resources.

NSHRC’s website indicates that Alaska, Hawaii, Indiana, Kansas, Montana and Nevada have no agencies to point people in the direction of shared housing. California, Illinois, Florida, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Vermont have several agencies.

The available room is very very large, has a maximum amount of sun, a huge closet, and is suitable for a couple or a person who wants to be able to practice yoga or have extra personal space in their room. We are looking for someone really positive, creative, fun, thoughtful, and interesting. Is that you? Let us know if it might be! Visit our website http://www.BeyondToday.org/coop for more information.

Bee in purple clover

Title: Prairie Onion Cohousing Working Group Meeting
Location: Hall Public Library, 4801 S. Michigan Ave., Chicago
Description: Progress reports and decision-making for Prairie Onion Cohousing’s proposed Bronzeville community.

Followed by a brief Introduction to Cohousing presentation from 12 to 12:30 p.m.

Please join the Prairie Onion group on Facebook! Don’t miss out on the latest news and photos related to the community!

Start Time: 10:00 a.m.
Date: 2010-02-06
End Time: 12:00 p.m.